October 4, 2012

October Snippets

I finally decided to do Snippets of Story.  Hope you guys enjoy!  I've posted a few things from my other works-in-progress, too.  Enjoy!

~~~~~~~


“Let me help you with that,” Andy offered softly.
“Andy!” the girl shouted, nearly dropping the cake. Andrew grabbed it and set it on the dining room table, then turned back to her.
“Hi, Haley,” he greeted, shoving his hands into his jean pockets.
“Hey.”
Andy could tell that Haley was trying to keep her emotions in check – he had no idea what they were, though – so he reached out and gave her a short hug, but she held on. He could hear her start crying and grinned awkwardly.
“Oh, Andy, I've worried about you so much, especially in the past month. When I heard what happened....”
“I'm fine, Haley. You don't need to worry about me.”
Haley let him go and half-smiled. “I know, but I still do. After all, you are my big brother.” She grabbed a tissue out of a box nearby and wiped under her eyes, then laughed. “Look at me! I've been here barely a minute and you already have me crying!”
“What is this world coming to?”
Haley shrugged and stuffed the tissue into her coat somewhere, which she started taking off. Andrew took it and hung it on a hook on the wall next to his.
“I brought a cake,” Haley said, motioning towards it.
“I saw it,” Andy replied, nodding.
They were silent for a minute.
“This is awkward,” Haley noted. “Sorry.”
Andrew gave her another short hug. “That's okay. I knew it'd be. I haven't seen you guys in forever.  How's college?”
“It's good.”
“Okay, now that that's out of the way, how's college?”
Haley smiled. “I never can fool you, can I?”

- Stalker (?), a novel I haven't worked on in a while but would dearly love to go back to because I loved the plot!  It'll need some major revisions, though....  (But which of my stories doesn't?)

~~~~~~~

Elizabeth sat and watched [a couple] dance, trying not to wish she occupied the dance floor, too. Suddenly, a young man sat next to her and she nearly jumped in surprise.
“Finn!” she burst out. He grinned and she chuckled softly, watching the dancers again. “You scared me.”
“A thousand apologies, Miss Lizzie.” He nodded towards the dancers. “Not dancin'?”
Elizabeth shook her head slowly. “I think I'm destined to be a wallflower tonight. I don't have an escort, either. Isn't that just terrible?” Finn laughed and she faced him again. “Who did you bring?”
“No one,” he answered, still smiling.
“What? But I thought you were going to bring your sister... or something like that.”
“She got sick at th' last minute and still insisted I come.”
“That was kind of her,” Elizabeth observed, watching Allison practically float around the room.
“Aye, but I don' 'ave a partner, either. Just like you!”
Elizabeth laughed. “Is that an invitation?”
“It can be,” Finn replied, his eyes twinkling merrily.

- Overcoming Her Pride

~~~~~~~

[Allie and I] stepped inside the foyer and I set the roller blades down on the tile. I peeled off my socks and threw them down beside them as Allie leaned over and dropped her purse on the floor, then stepped out of her shoes.
“Allie.”
I looked up at exactly the same time Allie did. Alec was standing at the far side of the foyer, his hands in his pockets, staring at Allie. My gaze darted back and forth – first at Alec, then at Allie.
'Wow,' I thought a minute later, grinning. 'Talk about chemistry....'

- Untitled June Crusade/Camp NaNo Project  (This is one of my favorite scenes!!  The end is the best....)

~~~~~~~

Aaron sat quietly in his chair, staring out the window at a pair of birds who were making their nest on the tree just outside the classroom window. His arms were folded on his open workbook laying on the desk, his head resting on them. Though he was still, his eyes were not. They followed the birds- Romeo and Juliet, he had named them- as they gathered twigs, bits of string, and trash from around the school. The history teacher droned on monotonously with her lecture, seeming never to lose her breath.
“The kings and queens of England,” she was saying, “are very fascinating in their own rights, though we don't have too much time left to go into them,” she glanced at the clock on the wall. “However, I would like to mention a few things about them.”
Several quiet groans rumbled through the classroom, echoing Aaron's own silent one. They weren't getting out early today.
'And on the last day of school before Christmas break,' Aaron mused. 'How awful.'

- Thus begins Aaron's Journey, the fantasy I've told you guys about that I stopped writing about two years ago.  Just looking at the beginning again and remembering how hard I worked on it, revision after revision after painful revision, makes me want to read it again and finish it.   Oh, bother.

~~~~~~~

And I think that'll be it.  I'd give you guys the latest scene from my June Crusade/Camp NaNo Project (which I've called TJCRW - try to figure that one out!), but it gives up a lot....  I'll just give you the first line.

"Can I take your coat?"

: )
~~~~~~~

Oh, and one more thing!  I need your help.  My opening of TJCRW is in desperate need of your services.  (Why I said that in a Scottish accent in my head, I have no idea!  Wait....  Never mind.)  Anyway, it's not the best of openings.  I don't know if it's because it's a little boring or hard to understand or what - I started with action, too!

The opening scene is below.  (It's the State Ice Dancing competition, by the way, and my character in first person's name is Nikki.)

“Now... please welcome... Alec and Nikki Scott!”
The crowd started roaring with applause and I glanced at Alec, who cracked his knuckles and looked at me with a hint of a smile on his face. He reached his hand out towards me, and I took it with a nervous smile.
We stepped into the rink and skated towards the middle, causing the audience to clap even harder. True, it was probably only a few hundred people – I couldn't tell because the lights were in my face – but they made enough noise for a few thousand.
I could barely keep my emotions in check. 'Oh, Lord, help us,' I prayed as I bowed my head like Alec's as we stood motionlessly in the middle of the rink. 'I'm so excited! Help us to stay in sync and everything. Please don't let anything go wrong. Thanks, God!' I ended, finishing my prayer up in a hurry. The first few notes of our music came over the speakers and the crowd died down.
'One, two, three, two, two, three, three, two, three, go!'
I slowly looked up at Alec, who skated circles around me, his hands clasped behind his back. He stopped and held his hand out. I hesitated slightly, then took it. He grabbed my other hand and we started spinning, twirling, and gliding to the music. With every move I made, I tried to keep one eye on Alec, one eye on my feet, one ear towards the speakers, and one ear towards Alec, who might whisper a command or two every now and then.
We flew through the routine, effortlessly weaving and spinning around the rink. Alec held my hands and pulled me up onto his shoulders with a serpentine lift. As I came down and danced beside Alec, doing a backwards crossover, the crowd clapped and I smiled. We did a camel spin together and I barely kept myself from smiling harder. 'We're perfectly in sync with each other!' All of our hard work was finally paying off, and I couldn't wait to find out just how well we were doing.
Soon – almost too soon – I heard the music change tempo and knew that we were nearing the end of the song. I took a deep breath, knowing what was coming.
“Here it comes,” he whispered, his grip tightening on my waist and hand.
The hardest aerial move in the entire routine. I quickly ran through the steps in my mind as I skated beside him and mentally prepared for the lift. I took a deep breath and, right on beat, he pulled me up onto his shoulders. Before I knew it, I was back on my feet again and spinning out and away from Alec.
'We did it!' I realized, smiling widely as I heard the audience burst into applause. 'A reverse rotational lift without any complications! Yahoo!'
I spun in again towards Alec, fell into the basic waltz position, feeling the beat as we danced through the last few bars. We glided around the rink once more, then Alec spun me out and we did a sit spin, then twirled for three rotations. Alec and I skated together and I grabbed Alec's hand, then we were in the waltz position once more. Three sets, then he spun me around. Three more, and I dipped. The music ended and I waited for three seconds until Alec pulled me back up again.
The crowd was ecstatic. I almost laughed as I realized that I'd never heard that much applause for us. I grinned at Alec and he smiled back and hugged me. We were both dry-heaving, but we didn't care. We grabbed hands, skated to the center of the rink, and I curtsied, then he bowed. The audience roared and I couldn't help but start crying.
'Oh, thank you, Lord! Thank you!'

What went wrong?!  Be as harsh as you care to - it might not even end up in the final draft, so I don't care.  : )

Putting all this up here is making me want to write more....  Guess what I'll be doing this weekend!
~Eowyn~

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow! These are a lot of stories!...it took me a little while to realize they weren't all part of the same thing :P Really enjoyed reading them all, esp. the ones I hadn't heard before. Again, so so honored to have my name in the very.first.one. Wow!! ;D

~Do I really need to sign my name??

Anonymous said...

Recognized most of the snippets. :) lol. Thank you SO much for sharing!! I loved "Overcoming Her Pride" so it was nice to read some of it again. And haven't read any of "Stalker". Please send me it!! Or at least what you have. :) lol. I don't care if it's finished or not. Sisters never do. :)

Love you, dearie!!

~Elinor

Anonymous said...

She-whose-name-doesn't-need-to-be-named - So glad you enjoyed them!! : ) And THANK YOU for everything you did with my TJCRW opening scene - I used most of it in my re-write and am loving it! : )

Elinor - Heehee... Thought you would! : ) 'Stalker' is one of my lesser ones.... I really like the story, but I started it a year or two ago and got a serious case of writer's block and forgot about it in the midst of TJCRW and OHP. Anyway, I'll send it to you if you REALLY want, but mind that it is a very rough draft. : )

Love you, too!

Eowyn

Anonymous said...

Well, I REALLY want it. :)

~Elinor

Cait said...

Great snippets. Enjoyed reading the different glimpses of your books! And "Can I take your coat?" What an intriguing first line! Definitely wondering where that's going... :)